1 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,794 Hello. You all right? - Yeah. Good, thanks. 2 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:46,277 No. - He's a brilliant actor. 3 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,677 He's very good. - Oh, dear. 4 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,314 I like him. - He's great. 5 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,438 See you later. - See you later. 6 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:04,034 He's not my favourite actor of all time. - No? 7 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,594 Yeah. Amazing. 8 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,988 Gareth, are you building up your wrists? - Yes. 9 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:40,157 Seriously, what are you doing? - Orienteering with the TAs. 10 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,232 All right? 11 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,438 Well... 12 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,713 So we're cool, yeah? - Absolutely. Totally cool. 13 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,434 What's that? Is that for me? 14 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:09,156 There's nothing going on between them. 15 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:14,036 I've been watching him and I imagine you've been watching her, 16 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,312 so between us we've got it covered. 17 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,439 Probably a bottle of something. - You reckon? 18 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,949 Look at the shape. 19 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,078 Some people can get nervous - 20 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:51,956 they think they're putting their head on the block, which is wrong. 21 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,594 They fill out a form in advance 22 00:02:54,800 --> 00:03:00,830 and they don't only list their strengths and weaknesses, but also mine as a boss. 23 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:05,477 So it's a chance for them to tell me where we're going wrong. 24 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:10,435 It's an opportunity... - To separate the wheat from the chaff. 25 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:15,839 No. That sounds bad. We're not trying to find out who the worst people are. 26 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:19,476 We know who they are. I've put them on my form. 27 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,240 No... - I've underlined the worst ones. 28 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,273 You're missing the point. Yeah... 29 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,834 Hello, David. - Here he is. 30 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:34,555 Tim Canterbury. A good man. 'The Canterbury Tales. ' 31 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,880 Chaucer. - Yup. 32 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,036 And Shakespeare. 33 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,828 Pleased with you. Very proud. New leaf, et cetera. 34 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:52,319 Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty, satisfaction. That's what I'm... 35 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,478 Trust people and they'll be true to you. 36 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:05,356 Treat them greatly and they will show themselves to be great. 37 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,029 So happier now? No looking back? 38 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:18,757 No point. No point. Sure, 18-19, go to university, get it out of your system. 39 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:32,834 I'm only just 30. You're 39? - No. Both in our 30s is the fact. Yeah? 40 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:42,790 Who's to say? In a few years time, you could be in the hot seat... like me. 41 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:47,676 When I'm nearly 40. - We're both in our 30s at the moment. 44 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,955 all we have to do is keep on walking. 45 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,510 Very nice. You're quite a philosopher. 46 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,793 It's just that I think our greatest glory... 47 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,709 is not in never falling, but in rising when we do. 48 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,953 Confucius. Bernard Shaw... 49 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:31,917 Don't tell those I've been reading these. It's an insult. I'll put it down there. 50 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,953 I wanted to be a children's illustrator. 51 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,799 When people asked what I did, I'd say, 52 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:49,033 For years I was an illustrator who did some reception work. 53 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:53,677 Then Lee thought we should both get full-time jobs. 54 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:59,034 Then you're knackered after work and it's hard to do illustrating. 55 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:04,030 Now, when people ask what I do, I say, 'I'm a receptionist. ' 56 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,152 You'll always have the art. Keep up the doodling always. 57 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,399 Pipe dreams are good. - I still hope it will happen. 58 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:30,311 If you keep trying, when it doesn't happen, you can go, 'At least I gave it a go. ' 59 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,988 You know? 60 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,748 Are you settling in all right? - Yeah. 61 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,394 Having fun? - Yeah. 62 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,275 As much fun as you can have at Wernham-Hogg. 63 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:53,237 How long were you at Swindon? - Two years. 64 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,876 If you had to name a role model... 65 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,956 who would it be? 66 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:12,879 There's my mum. She's strong, calm in the face of adversity. 67 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,390 I remember when she had a hysterectomy... 68 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:21,833 If it wasn't your mother, though. It doesn't even have to be a woman. 69 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:27,034 A man? OK. I suppose if it was a man it'd be my father. 70 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:33,395 Not your father. Take your parents as read. I mean someone in the work-related arena. 71 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:37,388 Right. OK. I suppose Tim, then. He's always... 72 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:42,116 He's a friend. Not a friend. Someone in authority. 73 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:47,440 Then, I suppose Jennifer. - We said not a woman. Or am I...? 74 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:52,839 Er... OK. I suppose you're the only one who... 75 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:58,955 Embarrassing. It's backfired. Oh, dear. Very flattering. 76 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,913 Can we put me as a...? - OK. Tim, then. 77 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,793 We said not Tim. Do you want me? - OK. 78 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,958 So shall I put 'strong role model'? - OK. 79 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,719 Just a drill. Do not panic. 80 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:30,040 He's trained. Good man. - Come on, people, let's get moving. 81 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,676 I'd be the last one out. - Do not run and do not panic. 82 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:39,477 That's just what I do. We do these every couple of months. 83 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:45,949 Even though I'm always cool in a situation like this, some people are not, 84 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,958 and so I try to make sure... I'll do that. 85 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,596 We were... - No, no. I've got it. 86 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,314 I'm going to get you out of here. 87 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,078 The lifts... are out of bounds... in a fire... situation, 88 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,750 so the important thing is... Put her down. 89 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,988 This isn't worth it. It's stupid. 90 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,079 This is just a drill, so we can leave her here. 91 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,595 We won't be a minute. 92 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:56,473 I've got no problem with him visiting every child in a night, 93 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:01,196 but I can't believe he stands in Barnardo's arguing with old women. 94 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:07,071 I don't know if you're aware of the situation that's arising here. 95 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,399 I won't say who. I don't know what Tim's playing at. 96 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:21,435 He embarrassed himself asking Dawn out and this will end in tears. 97 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,110 Whereas I, you probably notice, play it cool. 98 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,719 I can read women. You've got to know their needs. 99 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:38,596 That can be making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries 100 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:43,555 or making sure she's gratified sexually after intercourse. 101 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,876 You were using all your best lines on Rachel. 102 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,833 Best lines! Just being friendly. 103 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,635 It was friendly, but more than. 104 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,274 More than? - Friendly. 105 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:24,754 Under 'strengths', you've just put 'accounts'. 106 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,473 Yeah. 107 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,270 That's your job, though. That's just... 108 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,318 Under 'weaknesses', you've put 'eczema'. 109 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,672 You had a fantastically welcoming buffet. 110 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:01,271 The wine was something else. - Everyone's quite friendly. 111 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:06,235 Everyone's... And Tim seems nice. - Yeah. He's a good laugh. 112 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,951 I've just got to... Has he got a girlfriend? 113 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,311 Tim? No. - Why? What's up? 114 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,399 Nothing. - Why? Would you? 115 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,876 Mm? Out of the equation. 116 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,117 I know, but if you weren't, would he...? 117 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,312 If I weren't? Madness. 118 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,437 You've left this section blank. You haven't done the QandA. 119 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:42,077 I thought you filled that in. - No. This is aimed at you. 120 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:48,150 'To what extent do you believe that you have the skills to perform your job effectively?' 121 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,519 What would you tick? - Don't know. 122 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,313 OK. 123 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:08,355 'Do you feel you have received adequate training to use your computer effectively?' 124 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,198 What are the options? - They're always the same. 125 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,756 'Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know. ' 126 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,236 Don't know. - Don't know again. OK. 127 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:31,278 'Do you feel you are given the flexibility to decide how to accomplish your goals?' 128 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,356 Do you want the options? - Yeah. 129 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,190 'Very much so. Don't know. ' - Don't know. 130 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,154 If 'Don't know' wasn't there, what would you put? 131 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,076 What are the options? - 'Not at all. To some extent. 132 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,840 'Very much so. Don't know. ' - Very much so. 133 00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,996 Do you remember the question? - No. 134 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,636 'Do you...?' We're going to leave that. 135 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:15,274 Just going to give the new Swindon lot a... It's not an appraisal as such, but... 136 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:24,037 Sorry. Just showing them... - Keep them occupied before the main event. 137 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:28,995 I hope you warmed them up better than last time! Doesn't look like it. 138 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,830 OK. See you later. - See you. Bye. 139 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,669 Anyway... good. Hello. 140 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:43,438 I can't give you an appraisal - you've only been here a week - 141 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,632 but I wanted to see how you're settling in. 142 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:53,909 I know it's not the same vibe you're used to. Neil ruled with more of an iron fist. 143 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,873 Settling in? Having a good time? 144 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,990 How is it different? 145 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,078 More laid back, presumably. 146 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:10,876 Think it's more laid back? Yeah? - Yeah... 147 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,834 Say yes, then, if it's more laid back. More fun. 148 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,632 Well... - Eh? 149 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,796 Nothing. - Go on. 150 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:25,269 We're actually used to doing stuff, like working hard, being motivated. 151 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:29,917 There's not much dynamism. People get away with murder. 152 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,511 Having a laugh, yes. - Quite a few of us are bored. 153 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,473 What, you prefer Swindon? 154 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,515 More of a laugh. - You're having a laugh saying that. 155 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,518 What's so good about Swindon? Neil? 156 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,792 Yeah, for one. - You prefer Neil to me? 157 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,393 Who thinks Neil's more of a laugh than me? 158 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:59,990 That's mental! Come off it. You... 159 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,876 Come out for a drink with me and see who's more of a laugh. 160 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,516 We'll go for a drink lunchtime. Right. 161 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:15,438 Right. Here we are. There's an outing, lunchtime. 162 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:20,350 Show them what the Slough lot are like. Keith, what are you doing lunchtime? 163 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,838 Welcome to Alcoholic's Anonymous! No. Purely social. 164 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:36,034 I know an alcoholic and it's no laughing matter - particularly for his wife. 165 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,869 She's got alopecia, so not a happy home life. 166 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,550 Their eldest is like Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man'. 167 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,753 That probably turned him to it in the first place. 168 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,474 Looking forward to the weekend? 169 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,194 Yeah. - Cheers. 170 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,992 That's a lovely drop. That's Courage. 171 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:03,149 You get a lot of that round here because the main brewery's in Reading. 172 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,158 They do it in London too. 173 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:12,071 What's the brewery in Swindon? Is there a big...? 174 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,716 It might be Courage actually. - Dunno. 175 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,276 No. This is all right, though, isn't it? 176 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,154 Nice pub... Eh? - Just a private joke. 177 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:29,798 I was saying this is nice. There's a lovely pub near me - the Gardener's Arms. 178 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,518 What are you doing? - That bloke looks like someone we know. 179 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:41,158 OK. One at a time. Focus. You'll get more out of it in the long run, I promise. 180 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,639 I forgot what I was saying. That's what happens when you... 181 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,752 Courage... 182 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,475 Three points. - Don't do that on my head. 183 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:04,279 Unless you've changed into a dartboard. - The dartboard makes no difference to you. 184 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,074 I could sit here and still get 180. 185 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:11,273 Hiya. You all right? - Straight. 186 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,950 A couple of my mates are going down to Yates's... 187 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:20,917 The wine lodge? Classy. Joking. - I was wondering if you'd like to come. 188 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,237 Or not. And you, Dawn. Bring Lee. 189 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,669 Yeah, I can. - Great. OK. 190 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,395 Tonight? - Yeah. Just after work. 191 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,478 Have a couple of drinks, yeah. - Cool. 192 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:43,116 OK. See you later. - See you in a bit. 193 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,829 That'll be fun. - Yeah. Yes. 194 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,798 Good? - It was all right. 195 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,911 I've eaten here, so... 196 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,995 If you want a really good pie - The Gardeners. 197 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:45,315 It's been a washout, hasn't it? If no one else is going to make the effort. 198 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,590 We have made the effort. - Eh? 199 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:52,555 We have made the effort. - Yeah. I'm not having a go at you. 200 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:57,754 Obviously the best people haven't come. I'm going back to the office. 201 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,316 See you later. 202 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,192 Come on, Neil. - All right. 203 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,755 Gareth. - Nearly. 204 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,188 What are you doing? - Having a laugh. 205 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,996 You could have had a laugh in the pub. Dangerous, isn't it? 206 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:37,318 Just want to be popular as the new boss. Oh, love me! Pathetic! 207 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:52,034 I think we should call it a day there. Do you mind putting those away? 208 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,993 Guys, can we go back to work? 209 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,037 No. Time for work, wasn't it? 210 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:12,633 If you don't want to say, fine, but don't speak to me like that in front of staff. 211 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,354 You're acting like a petulant kid. - Yeah. 212 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:22,038 Don't stand out there and embarrass me and yourself, because I will not stand for it. 213 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:26,028 I've been trying to deal with this situation delicately 214 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:31,268 because I was embarrassed that I'm now your boss, but you have to live with it. 215 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:37,191 I don't let anyone talk to me like that and certainly not you. Do you understand? 216 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,517 Do you understand? Good. 217 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:46,272 You're a good bloke, Dave, and if there's a problem I'd rather discuss it sensibly. 218 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,436 Shake on it? 219 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,596 Great. Thank you. 220 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:04,077 I'll see you guys later. Take care. - Cheers, Neil. 221 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,030 Did you hear any of that conversation? - No. 222 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,630 I had it out with Neil. He showed his true colours. 223 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,308 He seems like a good bloke. 224 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:27,389 I'd better not say anything, then. Watch your back. Slagging you off. 225 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,989 Slagging you off. - Me personally? 226 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,034 Just me? - Yeah. And you. Slagging all you lot off. 227 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,949 What's he saying? - Saying you lot were rubbish. 228 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,709 I was going, 'Your Swindon lot are shit. ' 229 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,879 He got aggressive and I went berserk. - Did you hit him? 230 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:50,676 He'd have come through that wall. - He's pretty trim, mate. 231 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,189 Yeah? Against karate? 232 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:57,871 What did he actually say about us? - Just slagging you lot off. 233 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,278 I went, 'Your Swindon lot are little slugs with no personality. 234 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,756 'You're jealous that we're better at everything. ' 235 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,158 If it did kick off with him, I don't want you lot getting hurt. 236 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,796 I'd step in. - This is big boy shit, mate. 237 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:18,437 Hit him above the ears because the vacuum in the brain kills instantly. 238 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,792 I'd want to keep the twat alive with the shit I was going to pull. 239 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,155 All right? - Hello. 240 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,397 You don't have a boyfriend, do you? - No. 241 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:44,832 Any kids from previous marriages? - No. 242 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:50,990 Would you like to come out for a drink? - I can't. I'm going to go out with Tim. 243 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,270 Tonight? - Yeah. 244 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,313 Can I come? - Not really. 245 00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:01,353 You're not going to get off with him? - It's not your business. 246 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:07,635 Sorry. It's none of my business. Go and have a drink, by all means. Enjoy yourself. 247 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:12,118 If you don't go all the way with Tim, I will still be interested. 248 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:16,313 Thanks. Good to know I have something to fall back on. 249 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:20,274 What if I go all the way with Tim but want more with you? 250 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,440 I don't usually do sloppy seconds, 251 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:30,431 but I judge things on individual merit, so we'll cross that river when we come to it. 252 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,110 Thanks. That's good to know. - No problem. 253 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,194 One in the kettle? - Yeah. It's just boiled. 254 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,472 One amendment. If you do go all the way with Tim 255 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:51,038 and you expect me to go in there afterwards, make sure he wears a condom. 256 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,196 It's sort of a rule. 257 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,790 Is there any milk? - Yeah. In the fridge. 258 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,754 See ya. - See you later, mate. 259 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,153 You going home? - Yup. 260 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,308 That's for you. - Cheers. 261 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,592 Can you call Neilson's... 262 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:37,716 and get that credit rate faxed over or emailed or whatever? 263 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,239 Sure. 264 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:45,072 And do you mind typing up those appraisal contracts? 265 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,840 Sure. See you Monday. - See you. 266 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:52,875 Dawn, I'm fed up. I'm fed up, to be honest. It's just... 267 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:57,949 Why? - I think this place is a right shit hole. 268 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,276 Do you? - Yeah. 269 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:09,758 Do you think I'm funny? - Mmm. Yup. 270 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,918 Do you think Neil's funny? Sit down. 271 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:18,751 Do I think Neil's funny? I don't really know him, David. 272 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,919 But he's not funnier than me? - Definitely not. 273 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:28,752 I wish you'd tell that to the Swindon lot - miserable bunch of... Aren't they? Boring. 274 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,359 What's your favourite stuff that I do, comedy-wise? 275 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,917 Um... Oh, there's too much. 276 00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,554 The impressions? - Yeah. 277 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:49,949 Which ones? - Er... Which ones are there again? 278 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,116 Kermit? - Brilliant. 279 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,598 'Welcome to the er Muppet Show. ' 'Hai-ya, Frog!' 280 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,554 Miss Piggy. Do you know Kermit's nephew, Robin? 281 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,679 Do you do Gonzo? - No. Do you want a beer? 282 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:15,955 Er... I can't go to the pub. - I've got some here ready. 283 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,435 For emergencies. 284 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:26,917 Cheers. 285 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,869 I was looking through... 286 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,676 some old poems I used to do. 287 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,348 Oh? I didn't know. - Yeah. 288 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:47,237 What sort of...? - Quite sort of... powerful. Here's one. 289 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,877 Shall I read one to you? This one's called 'Excalibur'. 290 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:59,277 'I froze your tears and made a dagger and stabbed it in my cock forever. 291 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,951 'It stays there like Excalibur. Are you my Arthur? Say you are. ' 292 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,550 Good... - 'Take this cool, dark, steeled blade. 293 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,957 'Steal it, sheath it in your lake. 294 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:17,110 'I'd drown with you to be together. Must you breathe? 'Cause I need heaven.' 295 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,796 Um... It's powerful. - Very. 296 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,753 Did you get the double meanings? - I did.